


aching

by koganewest



Series: Keith Genuary [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Established Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Gen, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt No Comfort, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Has Abandonment Issues, Loneliness, Orphan Keith (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-14 06:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17503379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koganewest/pseuds/koganewest
Summary: Shiro hurts Keith unknowingly, and James uses it against him.





	aching

**Author's Note:**

> for keith genuary day 27: shiro

In the weeks leading up to the announcement of the new class of fighter pilots among Keith’s year, the tension is palpable. 

The cadets never cease nervously drumming their fingers, bouncing their legs, or picking at their sleeves, and the instructors seem to find great pleasure in antagonizing their panic. They pit the kids against each other, and despite Keith’s best efforts to stay out of the drama, even he gets pulled in by none other than James. 

Their argument doesn’t end in violence — this time, thankfully — but it certainly isn’t pretty. They both get scolded by Iverson, and Keith hears it from Shiro, too, when they meet up later that week. 

It culminates on the day the results are released. 

Keith makes sure Shiro’s in the room when the jumbo screen lists the names for many reasons: to comfort Keith if he isn’t chosen, to celebrate with him if he is, and — the most prevalent — to protect him if he’s attacked by his jealous peers. After all, James and his posse of followers had cornered Keith and beat him senseless the last time he’d been chosen for something over them.

In the end, though, all is well. Both Keith and James are moved up to fighter class. 

The room erupts into chaos immediately, but Keith only cares about finding Shiro so they can _celebrate_. He scans the crowd, head tilted upward to find Shiro near the door, towering over a group of cadets. And the best part, Keith thinks, is that Shiro is looking for him, too.

They meet somewhere in the middle, and Shiro hoists him up into the air with a brilliant smile. 

The two whoop and cheer and laugh for as long as they can stand to do so. After a while, Shiro takes a contented sigh, and Keith follows in suit as Shiro clasps him on the back, suggesting with a wry smile, “I think this calls for a joyride and some milkshakes. What do you think, bud?”

“Definitely!” Keith cheers, throwing his hands up into the air and racing out of the common room. Heavier footsteps follow Keith’s own, seemingly just as excited, and Keith almost stops completely, just to breathe the moment in. 

There’s only one way things could get better. 

“Hey, Shiro?” He says once they’ve pressed the right button within the elevator to bring them to the garage. His tone betrays his nervousness, and it causes Shiro to glance down at him, providing his undivided attention. Keith continues after an anxious breath. “You know how— how each cadet gets a row of seats for guests and, um, family during the moving-up ceremony this— I mean, next weekend?”

Shiro nods patiently despite Keith’s stuttering, encouraging him to continue. 

“Maybe you could sit in my row?” He blurts, turning his gaze to the hem of his uniform, with which he fiddles nervously; he can’t look at Shiro after asking such a thing. Despite Shiro’s overwhelming kindness, Keith still finds it hard to ask him favors. 

“I have to sit with the teachers, buddy,” Shiro informs him, voice calm and even as always — Keith, by contrast, can feel himself becoming tense. 

“You don’t!” He accuses, crossing his arms over his chest angrily but trying his best not to seem like a pouting toddler. “You don’t. The Admiral is sitting with her granddaughter, and Commander Burke is sitting with his nephew! You could totally sit in my row with me — no one would even care!”

“Hey, bud, calm down. I’ve got a seat next to Adam and the other teachers, and we’ll all be cheering for you,” Shiro promises, attempting to soothe his childish temper, yet it has an inverse effect. 

Keith sets his jaw, straightens his back, and digs his fingernails into his forearms. 

“Okay,” he says, and just like that, all of the day’s excitement has been drained from him. “Actually, Shiro, could you just bring me back to my room now? We can do this another day, I just don’t feel great right now.”

And Keith almost feels guilty for the way Shiro is immediately understanding and tries to help him, had it not been for the sting of rejection. Even when it’s clear that Shiro is willing to drop everything to nurse him back to health, Keith can’t help but feel that it’s ingenuine. He can’t help but _push, push, push,_ away from the affection like it’s poison, knowing that no one in his life has ever been permanent. At this point, his response is just reflexive; anything else would be unnatural. 

By the time Shiro has helped him into his bunk, Keith has to press his palms into his eyes and claim a headache in order to fend off Shiro’s questions. 

It works. Shiro leaves.

* * *

In the following days, Keith keeps his distance from mostly everyone, but Shiro in particular. They usually spend the weekend together on the simulator or on hoverbikes, but Keith just plays sick each time he’s asked to go somewhere. Despite what had happened, Keith does feel a little guilty each time he denies Shiro’s invitations. 

He comes to the culmination of indifference, though, as he sits alone in his row during the ceremony. 

The worst part isn’t that he’s alone; it’s that everyone else has someone. He can’t find anyone else sitting alone in the entire gym as they call up the cadets alphabetically. Keith listens each time as the crowd erupts with cheers at every name — some given standing-ovations by few, some by many, some by only one. 

When Keith’s name is called, no one stands. There are no whistles, no whoops, no deafening cheers. Just the customary applause from the teachers and administration. 

Keith doesn’t dare look. He doesn’t think he could bear to look at Shiro. 

He knows that his entire year of cadets has noticed by now that he’s on his own. He’s clearly uncomfortable, out of place, and unhappy; by now, everyone will be whispering about him. It’s only a matter of time before rumors surface about him with even more ferocity than earlier in the year. It’s only a matter of time before they attach him to the label _orphan_ , along with _outsider, misfit, trouble,_ and _loner._

So when the dreadful event finally ends, Keith tries to slip out the back as quick as possible without being noticed — but James catches him by the sleeve in the hallway. 

“Thought I saw you, Kogane. What are you doing here? Was it a mistake?” James sneers, pinning him against a wall. There’s no one in the area yet, so there’s truly nothing stopping James from beating Keith up. He jabs his knee into Keith’s stomach, who refuses to flinch or show anything. 

“You know I deserve to be a fighter pilot! More than you do,” he spits — yet doesn’t attempt to escape James’ hold on him. 

“Maybe,” James says, mockingly considering Keith’s words. He tightens his grip on Keith, squeezes him a little too hard for Keith to ignore it. It’s all sarcastic, Keith knows. He’s just preparing for another snide remark that will most likely only serve to piss him off more than it’ll offend or impact him. 

He’s very wrong. 

“Or maybe,” James suggests, drawing it out in suspense. “Maybe that’s not the mistake I meant. Maybe, Keith, there’s a reason you sat alone today.” 

James attaches a new label to him, and Keith withholds tears until he’s back in his room, safe under his blanket and trying desperately to remember what it’s like to be safe, warm, and loved.

**Author's Note:**

> ....sorry for this. been thinking bout it for a while.  
> -lily


End file.
